Well, I guess I was wrong. Not just wrong, but wrong wrong.

Zabransky didn’t make the cut at all. A major surprise for me, but hey, Kurt Warner went from bagging groceries to winning the Super Bowl, sooo…lookout Mega Mart!

I dissed Oakland on Friday too, but they HAD to take the quarterback and they did. It couldn’t have been easy for Al Davis to pass on a major talent like Calvin Johnson.

Now Pro Football Weekly is lambasting Davis for the decision, saying JaMarcus Russell is the next Daunte Culpepper at best, and at worst, the next Ryan Leaf.

It seems Oakland had two choices with the first pick, both of which were wrong wrong.

I say it’s unfortunate that previous moves bent them so far over the principal’s desk. But Oakland had some tough decisions to make this weekend and made them. They shored up their QB situation and got rid of a major problem in Randy Moss. It wasn’t flashy, but they’re better for it.

Johnson, on the other hand, has a chance to help transform Detroit’s offense under Mike Martz. Look for Detroit to put up some crooked numbers next year with Johnson and Roy Williams running Martz’ mind-numbing tapestry of timing-based routes.

I also thought Paul Posluszny would go in the first round, and indeed it’s been reported that Buffalo considered taking him at No. 12. But they didn’t, and he fell to them anyway at No. 34, the second pick in the second round.

You know I’m a fan of Posluszny, and all I can say for the teams that passed on him is…somebody’s going to get tackled.

What I should have done to earn my money last week was predict Quinn’s mighty tumble. Forecast to go as high as No. 3, Brady fell all the way to No. 22.

Dude…that’s like going from $50 million to, you know, $12 million. No wonder his girlfriend looked so uncomfortable.
RED

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Heading into the NFL draft this weekend, the first thing I want to know is why nobody’s talking about The Big Zabransky.

Boise State’s senior QB completed 66 percent of his passes last year. He had a quarterback efficiency rating of 161.9. He once completed 21 of 23 passes in a game. He went undefeated, won a bowl game and finished his college career 32-5.

Why is he ranked 263rd on Scout.com? Well, he throws off his back foot sometimes and sends up a floater.

Guys, fundamentals and mechanics can always be coached. Heart cannot. This kid is a winner. He’s fearless. He’s another Tom Brady, and may be the biggest sleeper this year.

Another thing everyone should be excited about is the chance to watch the Raiders make the draft’s first major screw-up with the very first pick.

Everyone knows they should take JaMarcus Russel, but they’ll give in to temptation and select Calvin Johnson, another 6′5″ receiver to go with the one they already have. Next year they’ll have 16 fancy pants receivers trotting up and down the field…and pouting in the locker room, because no one can get them the dang ball.

This year’s draft is deep on defense too. With so many defensive backs out there, it’s hard to pick just one.

So how about Paul Posluszny, a linebacker out of Penn State? If you know the history of Nittany Lions linebackers, then the fact that he’s the school’s career leader in tackles is all I need to say. He will go in the first round before some of the bigger names, and he’ll play - and start - next year as a rookie.

This guy is mean and nasty and has had to prove himself at every level. He may sport a corny mustache at times, but he is a bad, bad man, and that is one thing you can never have too many of on your football team.

RED

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After an hour of dissection and analysis of Tuesday’s mis-matchup between the Suns and Lakers, TNT’s Charles Barkley put things into perspective in his inimitable fashion.

“Phoenix has a better team.”

Poignant. Simple. Hemmingway would be proud.

Enough said about that series. Here’s how the rest of the best is shaping up in the first round:

The Pistons are a better team than the Magic.

The Cavaliers are a better team than the Arena-less Wizards.

The Bulls…well they’re not necessarily better than the Champs. But heading into Miami for games three and four, it’s either going to get very interesting or Shaq’s balky toe will be getting more sunshine.

The Nets and the Raptors are forging the most entertaining series in the East’s first round thus far. Eighteen lead changes and 13 ties in game two before Chris Bosch - formerly spindly but now quite lanky - took control of the paint.

Look out for game three on Friday, folks. Remember that scene in Jurassic Park where the raptor kept banging his face into the metal door trying to eat Laura Dern? Well it’s not going to be like that, but it should be a tight ballgame.

For those of you who can’t watch the Lakers’ Alaskan Halibut impersonation anymore, the West is all Texas. Houston is up 2-0, although they head into that topsy-turvy world known as Salt Lake City for game three. Both San Antonio and Dallas put a shellacking on their upstart matchups after Game One upsets.

Personally though, my favorite super hero is Underdog. It was distressing to see Golden State’s flat third quarter Wednesday night. And then they unraveled too. Losing your cool in the playoffs is so…uncool.

I guess the best hope for a big upset this year is those pesky Nuggets. So on that note I’d just like to say…

Go Nuggets!

RED

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Last week I picked Phoenix to win their first-round series with the Lakers because their team is…well, it’s a team.

The Lakers are Kobe, Lamar and…some other guys. That Walton kid has nice hair, and if they all put on some shiny, puffy shirts, their routine might even look good on “Dancing With the Stars,” but this is the NBA playoffs.

As if to prove the point, this weekend Bryant tried to carry his team to a win, but ran out of gas in the second half while the Suns’ Sixth-Man-of-the-Year candidate Leandro Barbosa came off the pine to torch L.A. for 26.

Do the Lakers even have a bench? L.A. got a grand total of eight points from six reserves who saw action. Four of them combined for nearly 40 minutes, putting up zero points, one assist and four rebounds total.

Most teams try to shorten their rotation to eight or nine guys in April. Phil played 11. Kobe had 39 points. The other ten guys combined for 48.

This after the Suns put up 35 points in the third quarter, then clamped down defensively and held L.A. to 10 points in the fourth, with Kobe going 1 for 10.

What I saw was domination at both ends of the floor in the second half. If L.A. can’t find a little more help, they’re going to have a hard time winning a game, let alone the series.

RED

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Two teams climbing out of two-game holes. Overtimes all over the place. So many Game Sevens that I nearly ran out of Pepcid. It’s hard to imagine how the NBA is going to match the show they put on last year.

But they’re going to try, dang it, and I’ve created a fool-proof formula for predicting what’s going to happen that includes a whole bunch of armchair hoo ha direct from Red. Here’s how I see it shaking down in the first round.

East

Heat vs. Bulls — They’re hurt and old, but Miami still has an immovable object in the middle and the second-best scorer in the game. This is a tougher series than it looks, but I’m sticking with the champs. Miami in six.

Wizards vs. Cavaliers — Agent Zero is out and so is the flickering flame that was the Wizards’ play-off hopes. Cleveland could sweep this one.

Pistons vs. Magic — Are you kidding me? Detroit will give one away like they always do, but take it in five.

Nets vs. Raptors — This will be a fun one for fans of the run and gun. It’s Lakers and Suns Lite. Raptors in six.

West

Lakers vs. Suns — Kobe is great, but I’ll take a team over one player any day. The Suns will romp in the low post, but Kobe will drop 50 at some point and give the Lakers at least one W.

Warriors vs. Mavericks — The Warriors are burly all over, and that’s a bad match-up for the Mavs. Still, I don’t see them being ousted in the first round this year. Dallas in six.

Jazz vs. Rockets — Old-school. Half court. Pick and roll. Inside out. Physical defense. Kirilenko’s bum thumb vs. McGrady’s first-round 0-fer. This might be the toughest series to call in the West, but I think the Jazz will take it in seven if AK stays in the game.

Nuggets vs. Spurs — The Spurs have been one of the NBA’s best teams for years. So why do they always seem to be throwing cheap elbows and crying about the refs? Unlikely though it may be, I’m pulling for a Nuggets upset purely on principle.

RED

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King Felix, Dice-K…enough already! It’s time we looked at a couple other curds rising to the top of MLB’s pitching butter churn.

The late-blooming Yankee Chase Wright made his first major-league start Tuesday night. As is customary for Yankee fans, bloggers were hailing the apocalypse and standing on their window ledges until Wright took the mound and…did OK. Before the call-up, if you’re curious, he averaged roughly 12 strikeouts and one walk per nine innings for the fearsome Trenton Thunder. He’ll face the Bo-Sox at Fenway on Sunday.

The Diamondbacks’ Micah Owings lost his last two decisions and pulled up lame running the bases this week.  That of course is not impressive at all. But before that, he hadn’t suffered a loss in nearly a year, going 13-0 over 20 games between AAA and the majors. The righty may have hit a rookie wall, but I dare anyone to match that.

Their record doesn’t show it, but the Giants seem to have an embarrassment of riches.

Not only did they land youngish Barry Zito (whose nickname, according to Baseball Almanac, is “None”), but supporting None, the Giants also have 22-year-old sophomore Matt Cain, who has been dealing in his first three starts and holds a 1.80 ERA.

If that isn’t enough, the Giants also plucked Washington’s Tim Lincecum out of last year’s draft - a 5′10″ 170-pounder who somehow manages to generate 99 mph heat to go with three other knee-buckling plus-pitches. Lincecum has been dominant. Currently hurling for the AAA Fresno Grizzlies, he has thrown 18 2/3 scoreless innings - with 28 strikeouts! That’s exactly half of his outs according to my abacus.

That kind of heart, friends, is what baseball is all about. It’s why they still have scouts, and it’s why Lincecum will make a big splash for the Bay Area’s Big Club before the season is over.

RED

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In case you missed it, Mt. Lou blew off some steam this weekend, signaling the unofficial Grand Opening to the Piniella era in Chicago.

Lou may have that famous hair trigger, but come on - Anyone who follows their own Hometown Nine understands how it feels to watch a pitcher implode the way Zambrano did Friday.

Up five-nothing and facing the bottom of the Reds’ lineup, Zambrano responded with a couple dozen meatballs and some gravy on the side. Single, single, walk, single, single, double, hit batter.

Four runs scored during the extended brain fart. Zambrano left with the bases loaded and nobody out.

Reliever Will Ohman then took the mound - and delivered eight balls in his first nine pitches, walking in two more and coughing up the lead.

The Skipper was a bit testy after the game, but his comments on the two pitchers were classic managerial understatement.

On Ohman: “A lot of balls didn’t reach home plate.”

On Zambrano: “What do I do? Pitch him when it’s his turn again. What else can I do?”

Say what you want about Piniella’s style, but the Cubs came out Saturday and spanked the Reds 7-0. Then they lost the game and the series Sunday night in a 1-0 pitchers duel.

Add it up, and the Reds were blanked for 25 out of 27 innings over the weekend and still took two of three from the Cubs and their wiffle-bats.

What then, might Sweet Lou do to heat up his tepid offense? The Reds Ken Griffey Jr., who played under Piniella for six seasons, offered a clue on Saturday, saying “You haven’t seen the best of Lou yet.”

In other words, for those of you putting on your gameday cleats at Wrigley Field…DUCK!

RED

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Well, I got my answers from the Red Sox game. Matsuzaka looks like a serviceable major leaguer, but as for all the hype and $100 bills swirling around him . . . excuse me, but YAAWWNN.

If you saw the game, the real story was Hernandez. We need to come up with a nickname for this guy. I personally am going to start calling him “Bobby Fuego.” At least for today.

Bobby Fuego has now given up just four hits out of 53 batters he’s faced this year. According to Elias Sports Brief, you’d have to climb into your Wayback Machine and set the dial for 1970 to catch another season-opening streak like that.

Who did it then? Well, two guys did. Tom Phoebus of the Orioles and another guy…what was his name? Oh yeah, Nolan Ryan.

Could Bobby Fuego be the next Tom Phoebus? Only time will tell.

And speaking of cold streaks (I wasn’t of course, but a segue is a segue), the Cubs saw their three-game skid end this week when…they were snowed out!

All across the Midwest, games are being snowed out, blown out, rained out and just plain chilled out. Someone needs to get in touch with the Heat Miser and tell him it’s baseball season.

As for the Cubbies, they’ll try and thaw their frosty bats against the Reds this weekend. Unfortunately they’re going to have to do so in Cincinnati, where the weekend forecast calls for temperatures in the low 30s with a chance of, you guessed it, snow.

Hockey anyone?

RED

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Yes, folks. That Arctic blast blanketing Cleveland can only mean one thing – baseball is in full swing!

C-Town’s curious Winter Wonderland may have wiped out the Indians’ entire four-game home-opening series against the Seattle Mariners — but in a world of silver linings, it also set the stage for the M’s 21-year-old phenom Felix Hernandez to pitch against the Boston Red Sox and their $100 million rookie Daisuke Matsuzaka Wednesday night at Fenway.

Well, I’m going to get my Frito’s Scoops and Cheez Whiz out for this one people, because I have a lot of questions about these two flamethrowers and I need answers.

1.) Can the kid shake off his 21st birthday hangover and shut down one of the game’s mightiest lineups on eight days’ rest?

2.) How many M’s will Dice-K K if Dice-K should K M’s?

3.) What will future archaeologists think when they find six pounds of Cheez Whiz in my colon?

I don’t have all the answers, but Matsuzaka was impressive in his first start, shutting down the Kansas City Royals for one run and six hits over seven innings.

Matsuzaka struck out 10 in his major league debut, but Felix wasn’t exactly catapulting turkeys out there. The kid put up zeroes for eight innings and fanned 12 of his own against a harder hitting Athletics club.

Who comes out on top tonight is anyone’s guess, but in the words of young Hernandez, “When you throw strikes, things happen.”

Amen to that, and PLAY BALL!

RED

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First off, I’ll admit it. Red is a huge fan of the late, great sports columnist Jim Murray. There was no better writer in the sports world to capture an event that turned upside down, like we all saw this weekend at the Masters. So, with all apologies and props to Mr. Murray . . .

Will the real Masters tournament stand up and start playing . . . please? We know what the Masters is all about. It’s the Big Stage where the Big Names—Palmer, Nicklaus, Player, Woods—show up on Wednesday and get their next green jackets on Sunday afternoon. The Opens, the PGA—those are for the plebes. The Masters is all about tradition, baby. Traditional course, traditional attire, traditional winners.

What we saw this weekend was clearly a bunch of cleverly-disguised imposters pretending to be Tiger, Phil, Vijay and Davis. They had to be fakes—how else can you account for the shanks, hooks and blown putts that are the sole province of mortal hackers? And giving the jacket to a guy named Zach Johnson? Second PGA win, period? This had to be a fake Augusta, too. Windy and cold? Nope, not our REAL Masters.

I’m waiting for the man behind the curtain to step out and tell us all it’s really the Great Oz, and to forget what we just saw. It almost makes me long for the days of Hootie Johnson.

RED

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