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November 30, 2007

Red’s Rundown (11.30.07)

Filed under: News — Red @ 3:03 pm

–A German woman who has been living the last 55 years of her life with a pencil lodged in her skull had it removed because Chinese toy manufacturers are running out of lead.

–In Touch Weekly Magazine reported yesterday that (sigh) Britney Spears is pregnant again. I guess if she has enough children she’s bound to keep custody of at least one of them.

–Forbes Magazine just named Detroit as the 5th most obese city in the nation, which is odd, because FBI crime statistics also named Detroit the most dangerous. You’d think those people would lose more weight if they spend so much time running for their lives.

–The European aircraft maker Airbus and the French nuclear company Areva signed deals with China worth a combined $26.7 billion. “A great country must have a strong currency,” French President Sarkozy said to Chinese President Hu Jintao—right before they took turns throwing darts at the U.S. dollar.

–Just in time for the holidays, a 12-month Supreme Court Wall calendar will be arriving at a store near you. I hear Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg looks dreamy in that two-piece Versace.

–A recent Harris poll reported that more Americans believe in a literal hell than evolution, but don’t be discouraged. Evolution is a very, very slow process.

–In conjunction with an upcoming telethon in Chile, a prostitute named Miss Carolina announced her plans to offer her services for 27 hours straight and give all of her proceeds to charity. Let’s see Jerry Lewis top that one.

–A British teacher has been arrested and jailed in Khartoum after naming a stuffed Teddy Bear Muhammad. The law firm of Pooh, Baloo, and Berenstain will represent her in the case.

–Apparently David Beckham’s wife Victoria is having trouble getting accepted in Hollywood because her clothes are too fashionable. This in a town where Tom Cruise is considered one of the gang? I’ll never understand rich people.

–In London, astronomers have discovered new, far off galaxies called “teenager galaxies,” but they are very hard to find. Mainly because they spend lots of time in their room brooding about being alone, they never call you back, and are embarrassed to be seen next to the older galaxies. It’s a phase. They’ll grow out of it.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff

It’s Not College Algebra (NCAA Football)

Filed under: Sports, NCAA Football — Red @ 1:51 pm

The smoke has almost cleared from the annual BCS bomb, and the world of college football is running out of surprises . . . finally. For the first time in a long time, playing the “what if?” game to figure out the national championship race is a cakewalk. This weekend everything is going to fall into place, and the lynch pin gets pulled Saturday night in San Antonio with Oklahoma and Missouri.

Supposedly (not logically), this is the only game that matters with respect to the BCS bid announcements on Sunday. I’m not going to use the word “logic” too often when it comes to NCAA football and BCS bids. It seems as out of place as Notre Dame in a bowl game this year. Anyway, here are the options in a nutshell . . .

Let’s just look at the top three BCS teams for now: Missouri, West Virginia, and Ohio State. Two of those teams can supposedly be dismissed immediately. Calm down. I don’t mean that in a bad way.

You can dismiss them because they don’t really enter into the equation. Ohio State’s season has been over for the past 13 days. Those guys are just sitting at home listening to Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers sing “The Waiting (is the hardest part).”

As far as West Virginia is concerned, they’re pretty much in the BCS title game already. The odds of West Virginia dropping a game at home against a Pittsburgh are slim. Pitt roughly averages only half as many points per game as West Virginia, 23.7 to 41.6, and while Pitt’s wide receivers are impressive, it’s just not enough. Of course, I’ll stop short of saying West Virginia is the logical choice.

So the only variable left is Missouri.

The Missouri/Oklahoma game is, to use an adjective that hasn’t much to do with sports, poetic. I hope the MU English department is encouraging its undergrads to watch this game since it has plenty to do with the plot arcs of countless mediocre novels. Or at least Rocky III.

You know, character “A” is defeated by character “B” in the beginning of the story, so character “A” needs to overcome character “B” at the end to win the prize? It’s just like that.

Oklahoma handed the Tigers their only loss this year, but MU is obviously a much better team than they were on October 13th. Whether or not the Tigers are good enough, well, I’ve learned my lesson when it comes to predications. I’m not even bothering to call this one.

The only thing I’m sure of is this. Not too many people will be rooting for Oklahoma to win more than Ohio State, because the math is simple. If Missouri wins, they’ll play West Virginia for all the marbles. If Missouri loses, then Ohio State will most likely take the spot.

And that’s it. See? I told you it was simple. Now then, the only other thing left to do is sort out the field of “also-ran” teams that round out the rest of the BCS series, and then we can all get together and draft that letter to BCS coordinator Mike Slive asking him why Hawaii, the only undefeated team left, got shafted.

He’ll ignore us. But it’s still fun to bother him.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff.

Big Ed

Filed under: Travel — Red @ 1:50 pm

big-ed.jpgSome say that the richness of travel is found in local cuisine, prepared and served without fanfare or pretense. If that is the case, then Big Ed’s in Raleigh, North Carolina is a gold mine of dining destinations.

Big Ed Watkins reigns over this greasy spoon in Raleigh’s City Market with the regality of Jed Clampett and the sincerity of Mayberry’s Aunt Bee. Outfitted in Pointer Brand overalls and a red checked shirt, there’s no missing Big Ed when you walk in the door.

His is the reserved seat at the first round table a liars in a café where many a tall tale is told on a daily basis.

But if all the lies being told confuse you, you’ll recognize Big Ed by the smile on his face, greeting all customers like lifelong friends.

“My mama told me I got enough teeth for two folks smilin’,” he says of the perpetual grin on his face.

It’s the vittles at Big Ed’s that make most people smile. Raised on a tobacco, cotton and corn farm in the toughest days of the Great Depression, Big Ed learned to cook by helping his mother feed the farm hands using recipes passed down from a great-grandfather who was a Confederate mess cook.

Known for his homemade sausages, saw mill gravy and hot cakes, made from a pound cake recipe, Big Ed’s is packed long before daylight. The grilled biscuits are best enjoyed with homemade black strap molasses.

“My biscuits are so good they’ll make a poodle dog wanna pull a freight train,” he says of his breakfast specialty.

For lunch, the crowds come for sweet tea and chicken and dumplings so good “that a tadpole will slap a whale just for a nibble.”

And because honest-to-goodness country cooking can’t be reheated, each day as the doors close at 2 p.m., volunteers from the Raleigh Rescue Mission carry out the leftovers to provide the homeless of the city the best meal available in all of North Carolina.

The décor at Big Ed’s is as simple and complex as the man himself. A collection of antique plows outside represent Ed’s days of hard work behind a mule on the family farm and the exhibit of Willard Watson handmade toys are reminders that we should all have a little fun every day.

The most fun comes on Saturday mornings when a Dixieland band out front pumps a little more richness into a kingdom already overflowing with local culture, cuisine and character. The Kingdom of Big Ed Watkins in Raleigh, North Carolina.

– Diana Lambdin Meyer, RED Travel Writer

November 29, 2007

The Dagobah Bowl (NFL)

Filed under: NFL, Sports — Red @ 1:44 pm

Last Monday’s Miami at Pittsburgh game was an abysmal form of entertainment, yet it still managed to set records. Not only was that 3-0 yawn-fest the lowest scoring game in Monday Night Football history, it was also the league’s lowest scoring game since 1993, and when the Steelers kicked that field goal with 17 seconds left in the fourth it became the first game to go that long without a score since World War Two.

It’s been nicknamed “The Mud Bowl” and “Muddy Night Football” for good reason. It was pure drudgery. The weather was unrelenting; players scrambling for footing while caked in mire. Even though the game was dirty, it was still a shining example of a tradition that makes football what it is—a tradition that might be in jeopardy next year.

No serious decisions will be made until after the season, but some are worried the NFL’s front office is going to push the Steelers and Heinz Field into using artificial turf next year.

No doubt, the freakish downpour had an affect on the game play. Steelers’ receiver Hines Ward said, “It was horrendous. No offense. You could have put Brady’s offense out there without anyone scoring.” Well, I doubt that, but I understand where he’s coming from.

A recent Associated Press article published on ESPN.com even went so far as to call the game “a national embarrassment to one of the NFL’s most successful and well-run franchises.” I’m sorry, but no.

No, no, no, no, no.

What happened at Heinz Field last Monday wasn’t an embarrassment. That was a real honest-to-god football game. Yeah, a low-scoring one, but still an honest one. It used to be this way all the time, people. It’s the nature of the gridiron. Bad weather is no excuse. If it’s hot, you play. If it’s windy, you play. If it’s raining, you play. If it’s cold, you play. If it’s snowing and you can’t see the goal line, you play.

It’s very, very, rare that a football game ever gets called on account of weather for a reason, because playing football in bad weather is to the history of football as the Chicago Cubs are to losing in baseball.

The only reason why people are making a big deal out of this is because the field conditions were truly the worst some have ever seen. It was like the Dagobah Swamp out there.

It’s important to realize, though, just how uncanny those circumstances are. The Steelers’ ground crew laid down fresh sod only the day before, and then Mother Nature dumped 1-½ inches of rain on it in a very short time. It was essentially a localized flash flood, but if there’s a flash flood, you still play football.

On yesterday’s episode of PTI, Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon interviewed Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger about the situation. Kornheiser asked Roethlisberger if he thought the field was dangerous. “At times,” he said, not seeming too worried about it, “It fits our style of football.”

In fact, none of the Steelers are too keen on the idea of turf. Most NFL players aren’t. Pittsburgh cornerback Ike Taylor said, “I need the grass. I like the mud. I like the sloppiness.” That’s what I like to hear.

So do the fans. One of most beautiful things about football fans in outdoor stadiums (see Lambeau Field) is their unwavering resolve to scream their heads off for hours in freezing weather to support their team.

The truth is, turf is really hard on a player. It’s hard on their knees, it’s hard on their ankles, and it causes players to suffer from really undignified and embarrassing injuries like “Strawberries” and “Turf-toe.”

Hines Ward also said, “Everybody wants to see the field looking pretty,” but football is not a pretty game. It’s a violent game, it’s a dangerous game, it’s a dirty game, and it’s an awesome game. So few mud pits left in the NFL. Let’s not lose another one just to keep the scoreboard lit up and the uniforms clean.

Football isn’t meant to be played on a carpet.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff

November 28, 2007

Oops! (Health)

Filed under: News — Red @ 3:04 pm

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a doctor. I thought it would be cool helping the sick, saving lives, etc., etc. Of course, a big part of that decision had to do with how large a doctor’s salary was. My philosophy was simple. If I like money, and doctors make a lot of money, I should be a doctor. Plus, I was awesome at that Operation game.

Then I found out what being a doctor was going to take. Sky high GPA’s, four years of college, four years of medical school, who knows how many years of residency, student loan debts of at least $100,000, long hours, high stress, and malpractice suits. So I gave it up and started playing video games. I make too many silly mistakes to ever be trusted with a scalpel, but as it turns out, I could have made it as a doctor in Rhode Island.

So far this year, doctors at Rhode Island Hospital have operated on the wrong side of a patient’s head; not once, not twice, but three times. Three times! I’m no brain surgeon, but the last time I checked you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to figure out your right from your left. Right?

I don’t want to clown the entire medical profession here. It takes an unwavering resolve to be a surgeon. I admire that. I realize mistakes are made, but shouldn’t knowing where NOT to make an incision be one of them?

Don’t brain surgeons and their operating teams have some sort of deliberation before they whip out the bone saw? Don’t they look at x-rays? This whole development is like some sort of hellish “Who’s on First?” routine:

Nurse: Good morning, doctor. Your patient today is Mr. Alfino. He is suffering from a cerebral hemorrhage and will need immediate invasive surgery.

Surgeon: Ah, well then. I see from his chart the bleeding is located around his left temporal lobe.

Nurse: Um . . . right.

Surgeon: I’m sorry?

Nurse: Right.

Surgeon: Nurse, the chart clearly says the left temporal lobe.

Nurse: Well, yeah. But do you think it’s our left, or the patients left?

Surgeon: Good point. I’ll flip a coin. You grab the bone saw.

The Rhode Island Department of Health has fined the hospital $50,000, which hardly seems adequate. Especially when you consider that one of the three patients died as result of complications relating to the botched surgery. In fact, ABCnews.com has four pages devoted to this story, and the word “malpractice” doesn’t even come up once.

What’s just as disturbing to me is how Rhode Island Hospital is handling this situation. According to a written statement released by the hospital and published on the AP wire, “We are committed to continuing to evaluate and implement changes to our policies to help ensure these human errors are caught before they reach the patient.”

Rhode Island Hospital must have some of the most amazing spin-doctors in the world. If I were to read that statement before I knew about the actual events in question, I’d think some sort of technologically convoluted tragedy occurred. That’s an awful wordy way of saying their surgeons don’t know right from left.

What kind of “changes” could Rhode Island Hospital “implement” anyway? Are they making all the surgeons watch Sesame Street? Should I bother mentioning how tragic it is when a hospital has to “re-evaluate its training and policies” because three different surgeons made the same bonehead move on three separate occasions?

Why don’t they just fire these people? It shouldn’t be the responsibility of a hospital to teach basic spatial relations to a surgeon AFTER they gain residency. You’re supposed to pick that up after eight years of higher education. Or third grade. Whatever.

Other medical experts have taken this opportunity to remind patients to ask plenty of questions, and some go so far as recommend patients write on their bodies where a surgeon should and should not cut. Also, it might help if your surgeon likes you, so bring them a Tickle Me Elmo or something.

They love those.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff.

The Olympic Cold Shoulder (NHL)

Filed under: NHL, Sports — Red @ 3:02 pm

When the NHL opened its season in London, it was thought by many to be a success. Some people think the NHL descended on London with nothing more than a dull thud, but at the end of the day, the O2 Arena was packed like an oversized can of sardines.

In an interview with Reuters yesterday, NHL commissioner Bettman said he’s targeting at least a dozen more European cities to host regular-season play. Bettman’s plan to increase the NHL’s popularity on the world stage is a great one, but then he threw me a curveball. Even though the NHL is aiming for international recognition, it also might stop players from competing in the Winter Olympics after 2010.

The NHL’s participation in the Olympics is buried under a pile of scrutiny, mainly because it throws a huge wrench in the works. In yesterday’s Reuters interview, Bettman said, “It is a strain. It is a strain on the players, on the schedule and on our fans here.”

Bettman has a point. I don’t agree with it, but he’s got a point.

The difficulties Olympic participation holds for regular season hockey players and fans here in the States are formidable, but then again, it’s the Olympics. We’re not talking about some meaningless pick up game here.

Bettman also told Reuters, “It has an impact on the momentum of the season and the benefits we get tend to be greater when the Olympics are in North America than when they’re in distant time zones.”

There’s no arguing that the Olympics have an impact on regular season play, which is something the fans have an issue with. When NHL players go for gold, hockey comes to a screeching halt for several weeks. It’s Bettman’s implication about the “benefits” I can’t agree with.

The NHL, like any other major sports franchise, is a business. But for Bettman to consider a moratorium on Olympic play because the NHL isn’t getting a lot of kickbacks is putting profit before the sport.

Bettman also said, “It’s much easier for us when the Olympics are in North America.” Well, I’m sure it is. But the only message I get form Bettman here is that Olympic participation is a matter of convenience, and since when have the Olympics been convenient?

It’s a world event that takes place once every four years in a different part of the world so that different athletes from all over the world can compete to see who is the best in the world.

Yet Bettman, who on the same day in the same interview announced his plans to take the NHL all the way to Prague, seems put-off by the idea of having his players compete in Russia for a few weeks. Doesn’t that seem a tad inconsistent?

Plus, Bettman’s stance on Olympic participation after 2010 also assumes the privileges of a man’s participation in the NHL trumps his patriotism. “I’m not so sure that for two weeks once every four years somebody who’s a great hockey player is going to give up the opportunity to play in the NHL,” Bettman said.

One-third of NHL players are foreign, and I’m not so sure that Bettman isn’t underestimating the lure a foreign player might feel to go back home and represent his country in a world competition once every four years. If a player makes that decision, do you think disappointing his American fan base is going to enter into it? Not when it comes to patriotism. No way.

So if commissioner Bettman decides to give the Olympics the cold shoulder, I hope he doesn’t go so far as to give his players a “my way or the highway” ultimatum. In 2014, if an NHL player wants to represent his motherland in Russia, I hope Bettman has the understanding to allow it and not trap his players in the NHL like some twisted version of Casablanca. It’s the Olympics, commissioner.

I don’t know how else to say it. Let ‘em play.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff

November 27, 2007

Accidental Tourist

Filed under: Travel — Red @ 1:30 pm

ceramist.jpg“Sprechen Sie Deutsch?”

It’s a phrase I’ve spoken thousands of times. I hold a BA in German and always welcome opportunities to practice.

Knowing German enabled me to book a charming pension in Prague, where 15 years ago you couldn’t get by with English alone. Speaking German has endeared me to crusty Europeans with no fondness for monolingual Americans. And German has occasionally scored me a free beer if I successfully schmooze the guy next to me at the bar.

But the last place I expected to use my German was in South Korea. Off on my own, without a schedule, I headed to Seoul’s Samcheong-dong district, a low-rent neighborhood turned trendy after the city’s artists transformed it into an arts enclave.

I visited several galleries before stepping into Cium, a gallery with the green porcelain for which Korea is famous. Delicate teapots and cups greeted me, followed immediately by the store manager. I was in luck, she said. The artist, Yu Ctil Sam, wanted to show me his ceramics in person.

But our conversation was strained. I spoke no Korean. Sam’s manager spoke only halting English, and Sam spoke none at all. Things were rough…until the manager accidentally uttered a German word. I could scarcely believe my ears. “Sprechen Sie Deutsch?” I asked. To which they replied excitedly, “Ja!”

Our easy conversation revealed that their childhoods were spent in Germany. I learned that God called Sam to be a ceramist, and then showed Sam a patch of magic clay. I learned that Sam’s porcelain, cium, made strawberries sweeter and milk fresh longer. I sampled some berries myself and concluded Sam was right. And when it was time to leave, Sam gave me a souvenir cup, a little magic to take home.

My Seoul experience reminded me of the discoveries lying in wait on the road. Most of us travel for a purpose, with a packed schedule and no time to waste. But serendipity happens without a timetable, when we’re not looking. We need to wander aimlessly from time to time if we’re to find it, with nothing but a map and a subway pass in hand. There are accidents out there just waiting to happen. And you’ll want to be there when they do.

–Amy S. Eckert, RED Travel Writer

Dizzy Gillispie (NCAA Basketball)

Filed under: Sports — Red @ 12:12 pm

If I were a college basketball coach, there are a few places I’d never work in a million years. For example, Seaton Hall has one of the most run down facilities in the league. The Colorado Buffaloes (and their scant 5,000 fan average) seem to regard basketball as more of a hobby, but it’s not as bad as Washington State. That program averaged 3,900 fans last year. Yikes.

Of course, coaching at the top of the heap is no picnic either. There are a few top-notch programs that would have me sweating bullets at the helm, but the biggest pressure cooker I could imagine smothering in right now has to be in Kentucky. Those guys are edgy.

The Kentucky Wildcats hired coach Billy Gillispie on April 6th, and now, seven months and 24 days later, he still hasn’t signed his contract. He couldn’t if he wanted to. It isn’t even drafted yet. Gillispie has told the press over and over again, “It hasn’t been something that I’ve been really concerned about.”

I gotta hand it to coach Gillispie for staying cool as a cucumber. I’d worry about it constantly.

According to ESPN, Gillispie’s “contract” with Kentucky is a seven-year agreement that pays him $2.3 million a year in base salary, broadcasting fees and endorsements, with raises of $75,000 each year. So you might be asking yourself, “That’s a lot of mulah. Shouldn’t there be some sort of official document or something?”

There is, sort of. Gillispie’s “contract” is actually a document roughly the length of this editorial. The University of Kentucky refers to it as “A Memorandum of Understanding,” and according to UK athletic director Mitch Barnhart, “There’s no more paperwork to come.”

Gillispie might be letting this whole thing roll off his back, but I’m far too skeptical to think it isn’t a big deal. When you’re a basketball coach for The University of Kentucky, when you’re expected uphold that kind of athletic pedigree, the ice you’re standing on is thinner than an O.J. Simpson alibi.

I’ll bet this pseudo-contract is a safety net for the UK athletic department. Remember how fast Kentucky turned on Tubby Smith last year? Talk about a tough room.

In fact, the UK fans are so . . . well, there are plenty of adjectives I could use here. I’ll go with “determined.” Yeah, that’s the ticket. Anyway, the UK fans are so determined about their program that they’re already calling for Gillispie’s head after that loss to Gardner-Webb.

Overall, Gillispie is a good coach. He did great things at Texas A&M. Under Gillispie, the Aggies went 27-7 and made the Sweet Sixteen for the first time since 1980.

Of course, Acie Law had a lot to do with that, and Gillispie didn’t recruit Law. Law was already there for a year by the time Gillispie showed up, but Texas A&M is ranked 15th so far and Gillispie has been recruiting that squad since ’04.

But for a lot of Kentucky fans, track records or a coach’s past seasons don’t mean squat. The only thing that matters is that number in the left hand column—and the fans expect it to be pretty high this year—just like every year.

It should be, too. Kentucky doesn’t have the toughest of schedules this season. They face #2 North Carolina on Dec. 2nd. Otherwise, only four more of Kentucky’s remaining 26 games are against ranked opponents—including #10 Louisville on Jan. 5th. That should be interesting, since Gillispie beat Louisville with the Aggies last year on the way to that Sweet Sixteen appearance.

Right now, though, Kentucky looks like a ho-hum team that might just squeak into the tourney. As good as Gillispie may be, he’d better step it up a notch or five. He’s got to prove himself a lot faster in Kentucky than he did in Texas. That’s why no one has bothered to draft his contract yet.

He might get fired before the ink dries.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff

November 26, 2007

Fishing for the Elusive Greenback (Politics)

Filed under: News — Red @ 3:11 pm

Two of the most socially heated and forbidden topics in conversation have always been religion and government, but since I opened a can of holy worms yesterday I might as well tap into the political ones today.

If you’re the kind of person that likes to analogize baseball with politics, like our President, then it won’t be much of a stretch for you to align the Republican Party with the New York Yankees—they’ve always had plenty of money, and they’ll spend it to win. It’s a strategy that’s worked well for them over the years, but a recent twist of fortune has left the Republicans in the red. That’s an image as unnatural as an elephant sleeping with a donkey.

The Republicans with the most barren pockets are the National Republican Congressional Committee. In comparison to their rivals, the disparity of NRCC’s funding is astonishing.

According to some figures posted in the New York Times, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee has raised $56.6 million with $29.2 million of it to burn. The National Republican Congressional Committee has $40.7 million, but a meager $2.5 million of it is available.

Raise your hand if you ever thought you’d see the day when Dems would have over ten times more available funds than Republicans.

This little “mini-depression” has forced the NRCC to make some bold moves, or maybe they’re drastic moves. It depends on your affiliation. Since desperate times call for desperate measures, and because it’s impossible to gain political clout without mountains of cash, the NRCC is going out of its way to aggressively recruit wealthy candidates who don’t mind spending large sums of their own money for Congressional races.

While the notion of an already well-to-do Congressional candidate is old hat, the NRCC’s lack of revenue combined with their vigorous recruitment is not.

Several months ago, strategists from the Republican Party approached a wealthy Illinois businessman named Steve Greenberg and literally pitched the idea of running to him. It was reported that Greenberg had been toying with the idea himself, but it wasn’t until the NRCC met with him in Washington and showed him prodigious collections of data, pie charts, and bar graphs about demographics that he was convinced to run.

I’m not sure what kind of argument the NRCC is using to convince these people to go it alone, but it must be an irrefutable one. Maybe if a person has that much money to burn the task is easier, but I still think it’s a pretty hard sell.

How would you feel if a room full of political experts chose you to run for their party, spent days on end convincing you to do it, and when you agree, they say, “Great to have you aboard! Sorry we won’t be able to help you out with the money thing, ‘ol boy. You’re on your own, but we’re rooting for you, by golly! Good luck!”

The Republican fiscal crunch can also be felt outside of the Congressional arena. Democratic presidential candidates are tipping the scales their way as well.

According to the latest figures from the Federal Election Commission, Hillary Clinton has a whopping $50,463,013 of cash on hand. That’s more than Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, and John McCain combined. Those three have $29,354,971 between them.

Barack Obama has $36,087,191 of cash on hand, but now that Opera Winfrey is stumping for him, who knows what’s going to happen. Opera Winfrey has so much money that her money has money, and her money’s money makes more money than I ever will. But I’m not jealous. There’s something to be said for a modest tax bracket.

It guarantees I’ll never be in politics.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff

November 25, 2007

Red’s Rundown (11.25.07)

Filed under: Sports — Red @ 7:54 am

Sportswriters all over the place are describing how NBA scouts are salivating over O.J. Mayo, which is a very poor choice of words.

After Vancouver’s Mattias Ohlund snapped a bone in Minnesota Wild center Mikko Koivu’s left leg by slashing him, some people are calling for the NHL to enforce stiffer penalties for violent play. Those people are wussies.

In a recent ESPN interview, Duke basketball coach Mike “I Need More Vowels” Krzyzewski said last year’s team was, “ . . . like when someone who has been rich lost a lot of money. They still have to act rich, but they’ll want someone else to pick up the check.” Keep that in mind this year when you see coach K in 20 different commercials.

Did anyone see that awesome Colts-Falcons game on Thanksgiving? No, really, did ANYONE see it?

I wonder when the NFL is going to realize the majority of die-hard NFL fans can’t afford the NFL network.

36-year old retired tennis legend Pete Sampras recently proved he’s still got it after giving 26-year old living legend Roger Federer a run for his money in a recent exhibition match. It’s like a tennis version of Rocky VI.

Marion Jones admitted to using steroids after saying she hadn’t, so last Friday the International Association of Athletics Federation annulled all of her results dating to September 2000, including her Olympic and world championship titles, and told her to return her prize money from that period. Think Barry is sweating yet?

The New York Knicks finally picked up their third win against the Bulls. Keep smiling, Isiah. Everything is just fine.

MLB.com is auctioning off the can of bug spray that was used by the Yankees in the AL playoffs. The highest bid so far is $150 . . . for a can of half-used bug spray? Man, if I had that kind of cash to throw away, I’d get the NFL network.

Personally, I think the biggest surprise that came out of the MU-KU “Armageddon at Arrowhead” is that the stadium is still standing.

–Joey Alfino, RED Editorial Staff

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